'Past Lives' shows nothing is ever over, even if you think it is

by Mitchel Green - July 9, 2023

| mitchelgreen34@gmail.com source: The Movie Database

“Past Lives” isn’t breaking new ground. Writer-director Celine Song’s debut feature is perhaps most indebted, formally, structurally and thematically, to Richard Linklater’s “Before Trilogy,” a walk-and-talk romance about missed chances, regret, and how love transcends time. But travelling down a similar, well-trodden path doesn’t mean “Past Lives” can’t emotionally destroy you in its own specific, unique way.

Much like the “Before Trilogy,” “Past Lives” goes for a sense of naturalism that makes the more downplayed emotions feel more authentic. Song isn’t pulling out all of her formal tricks here. She’s carefully crafting images that both build intimacy and keep people apart. The film doesn’t look beautiful, it looks a bit unsatisfying, perfectly matching the disappointment Nora (Great Lee) and Hae Sung (Teo Yoo) feel as they constantly miss each other. Song’s approach doesn’t pull the viewer in, but it does overwhelm — slowly enveloping the viewer and luring them into a false sense of security before squeezing every last bit of emotion out at the last moment and leaving them numb.

One of the more refreshing elements of “Past Lives” is its non-melodramatic portrayal of jealousy. With Nora married to Arthur during Hae Sung’s visit in the film’s third act, Arthur has to reckon with the romantic tension that comes from Nora and Hae Sung’s past. But in other films, where this might lead to big emotional fights, Song once again pulls her punches. We see Arthur’s pain in glances, not in screaming matches. We see how uncomfortable he is, but also how understanding he is. He trusts his wife enough to know nothing will happen between Nora and Hae Sung, and he knows that maybe getting some sort of closure out of this reunion could be good for her.

But Nora doesn’t get any closure, partly because in a situation like this, anybody will always wonder what could have been, even if they’re happy with the life they got instead, but also because she already thinks she’s gotten closure. When Hae Sung comes to visit, she thinks the book has been closed on their story for years, and that this is just a friendly little meet-up. But it very quickly becomes something different. From the moment Nora sees Hae Sung, her energy changes. She continues to rationalize to herself that, of course there isn’t anything left between them — was there even anything there to begin with?

All the pent-up emotion over the loss of her childhood friend, and maybe even love of her life, comes out in the final moments of the film. Nora and Hae Sung are saying their goodbyes. They have had several private moments just to reflect on their relationship and the life they could have had. They’ve come to terms with their realities, and they feel like they have finally gotten the closure the two of them needed… but they haven’t. Hae Sung will think about Nora for the rest of his life, and Nora completely breaks down after Hae Sung leaves. Whatever feelings she had for him will never go away, even if she’s not able to act on them.

“Past Lives” is not the grand, sweeping, emotional saga its premise might suggest it should be, but that’s to its benefit. The film doesn’t overextend itself by scaling down and focusing on smaller, more intimate emotions. It cuts deep because it doesn’t go for broad, cheap pathos. The film leaves you unsatisfied, thinking about those in your own life who you let slip away for whatever reason. It’s not a wholly memorable experience by itself, but the scars it leaves you with remind you of those you already have.